The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have


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The Hypochondriac's Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have

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    There are better authorities on these matters. Find them. If you should find that you do indeed have one of the diseases included in these pages, please understand that it is not my intention to make light of your terrible situation. In which excess growth hormones make it necessary for you to keep buying new hats, gloves, and shoes. It's funny how your body changes in very subtle ways, day by day, so that you never really notice it. You look at your reflection in the mirror and it seems a reasonable enough facsimile to the person you saw staring back at you yesterday, but in reality it's slightly different.

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    Time takes its toll, not in great leaps, but in small, measured steps. You have a few less hairs. The wrinkles are deepening beneath your eyes.

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    Your wedding band digs tighter into your finger. Your skull grows wider, your forehead more sloped. Gaps form between your teeth. And your jaw isn't supposed to protrude from your face quite so prominently, is it? One day, you meet an old friend on the street, and she says, Holy shit! Why is your head so big?

    It's all a part of getting old. Well, getting old and having an acute case of acromegaly ak"-ro-meg'-ah-le. The word itself is derived from Greek: akro, meaning ends or extremities, and megas, meaning large or super humongous. The effects of the disease, caused by an excess of growth hormones brought on most often by a tumor growing on your pituitary gland , usually become apparent during adulthood, manifested as abnormally large hands and feet, but it can also give you a big nose, thick lips, a sloping forehead, and general facial disfigurement so that you end up looking kind of like folk-rock musician Neil Young.

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    It will be much easier to bar chords on your guitar. With that and the penis enlargement, you might think that acromegaly isn't so horrible as horrible diseases go. There are some downsides. The growth hormones will also affect the organs, which can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, heart rhythm disorders, diabetes, and colon cancer. Your chances of premature death will be increased IOO percent. The disease is usually caused by a tumor of the pituitary gland, which is inside your skull, so all sorts of other problems may arise as it grows, squeezing itself against your brain and eyes.

    The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have
    The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have
    The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have
    The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have
    The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have
    The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have The Hypochondriacs Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have

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